Christmas and Family Tradition

Bah Humbug! I have to admit I have the Christmas blues. The Christmas holidays make me sad and realize I don't have a LOVING family. Yes, My fiance and I are a family but it's so hard being around his family and knowing that I can't have the same tradition with my family. My family is so dysfunctional I can write a book about them. I have accepted in my heart that I will never have a normal family. But guess what, it still bothers me! I chose not to go home as usual for the holidays because my family really don't celebrate the holiday. Yes, they cook food but that's about it. Meaning, my mom cook food at her house and try not to let the rest of the family know what she cooked for Christmas Dinner. My sister been raised to think that she's not capable of doing alot of things. So my sister can cook some foods but she pay my mom to cook the foods that my sister is scared to make. My mom charges my sister to cook the food and plus she eat some the food. Oh, my family is so complicated even I can't explain it.

What are the Proper Etiquette for Young Ladies?

Today, I was watching the Maury show and he was doing the paternity tests. The ladies on the show was screaming and hollering when asked questions about the baby father. Also, the ladies were talking about how the men were scum, broke, and how they have so many children by different baby mamas. Well, my question is If he's that bad, WHY DID YOU HAVE A BABY WITH THAT TYPE OF MAN? After Maury, read the results the women preceded to dance and gyrate for the audience when the results were in their favor. I just don't get it. Why not act like a Lady? Why not handle yourself with proper etiquette? Why do you need to scream to get your point across? Hey, you know there are ways of being heard without looking bad. You can get back at people without being verbal and physical abusive. For example, get in their POCKETS! Most people hate giving up money for something that can be avoided. I don't know it just bother me to see women degrading their selves. I feel like it's a reflection of me as a woman. I feel that people will think that all women behave in that manner I just feel that you can get your point across and still be a lady.

Parenting 101

NO, this is not another discussion about parenting! Why do people with kids try to make people who don't have kids feel bad because they don't have kids? I usually get this from people who wasn't prepared to be a parent. They say stuff like "You don't have kids so you can afford to spend money", "You have plenty of free time because you don't have kids", or "You don't know what it's like to have kids". I could probably go on and on about the different statements. The statements usually end and begin with"You don't have kids". I don't like to be rude to people so I practice patience, LOL. But, I would like to to respond that I choose not to have kids and if I do have some I'm not going to complain about it every minute. I believe in being thankful for what you have and making the best of any situation. You can always find someone doing worse. This spun from a conversation that I was having with a friend. She is a new mom and had the baby before she was in a stable relationship and mentally prepared to be a mama. I tried to warn her that motherhood was hard work. I grew up with two sisters (single mothers) that starting having children in their teens and I saw the struggle. They even pull that same thing on me that I don't have kids. People act like if you don't have kids then you living the good life. Believe me, I have my own problems.

Coping With the Death of a Friend

Today, I recieved a call from a friend about the death of a friend (call him Troy) from my hometown that had a massive heat attack at work. I was suprise and disturbed about how my friend life ended because his life was so tragic. First of all, I met this friend back in ninth grade with my goofy best friend. Troy was in our class because he had been held back three times and was the butt of all the jokes. Also, Troy was a little overweight so he got teased for this, too. My best friend and I immediately hit it off with Troy and was friends for the rest of ninth grade year. Troy decided that once his class graduated from school that year that he would not return to school. So Troy decided to drop out of school. I think Troy hated school so much because he was tease. I think that he would have attended school more or put forth more effort if he wasn't so insecure. I think it was about a year after he dropped out of school that I heard the tragic news that his mother had been murder by her boyfriend. Some of the details about the murder was that the boyfriend made Troy go in the closet while he murder his mom. After this happen Troy and his baby sister went to live with a aunt in Florida. I always felt that Troy not being able to save his mother messed with his head. I was hoping when he went to Florida that Troy would find a better life. In 2003, I saw Troy for the first time in about 7 years. I went to my hometown for a visit and I was standing in line at the dollar store. So someone tapped me on the shoulder and I didn't recognize the man. I just played it off because i knew it had to be somebody that I knew because I was in my hometown. So I was like "Hey, how are you doing?". The guy was like "you don't know who I am do you?" He was like it's Troy. I was like oh that's you Troy. Then I was like how you been doing. He responded that he was doing OK in back living in town. Then we said good bye and went our separate ways. Troy looked so different and had lost alot of weight. Also, he had a sadness too him and just looked like he was unhappy. I called my best friend and told her about seeing Troy and she told me that she heard he was on drugs. Also, she told me he worked at a local restaurant. The I received the call from her today about his death. I like to analyze the world and try to figure out why things happen but I just can't explain Troy life. I am a very spiritual person and believe that everyone has a plan for their life but was that the plan for troy life? I don't know I just wonder why some people have a good life and why others just can't seem to find happiness. Do it have something to do with the the choices that we make? Is it because we make bad decisions. Is it because we don't have the ability to understand life? Is it because of bad elements in our life? I don't know and probably won't ever know but I hope that he's in a better place.

Are you a procastinator?

Well I am and I hate it! I don't know it seems that it has gotten worse over the years. I procrastinate with school, my relationship, starting projects, cooking, cleaning my apartment and much much more. I procrastinate in every aspect of my life! I always wait until the last minute to complete a task! Well I think it's time for a change. I don't know how I'm going to do it but one of my New Year's Resolution is GET ORGANIZED!!!! I have a wedding to plan (which I should have completed along time ago), need to lose 20 pounds, need to organize my household, need to plan next year trip and still have time for my recreation projects. I have invested in a cheap PDA. And you know what? It's still in the package. Wait!! I made another purchase to help with getting myself organized. I purchased some organizing or planner software. I can't even remember the name of the software. So I guess you can tell that I didn't even use the software? Well I did download it on my laptop. I'm trying! I hope that I can find some kind of balance in my life.

Do you get stress and need an outlet?

Well search no more you have come to the Da Vent Spot! If you need to let go of some frustration take a deep breath and exhale. Now Scream!!! Yes, I find myself in stressful situations all the time and I just need to vent. I am stressed about my family, school, myself, and the world. Most of the time I can't talk to anyone about my problems. So I just keep the problem balled up deep inside of me until my insides are about to explode! You know what? I have learned to free myself and take a back seat and let the events unfold. I will no longer let anyone else actions be a reflection of who I am. Hey world , hate me or love me take me as I am.